Stupid Bosses

I work for a small company – I mean really small. Basically it is the Owner, The Office Manager, and me, the Graphic Designer. When I took the job I was not aware that the Office Manager and the owner where dating. The Owner is never around and she acts like she is my boss – or “my boss through injection” as I like to call it. This would be fine if she was not such a total pain! Firstly, she makes edits to my work that the customer did not even request, just so that she can exercise her control-freak nature. Secondly, she is running the business into the ground…

Stupid Students

In what seems more and more like another life, some 15 years ago, I was an assistant in a computer lab belonging to the computer science department of my university. The lab consisted of a bunch of 286 IBM PS/2s with only a 3.5″ floppy drive — they had to boot with an operating system disk and then put in the program disk, and so forth.

One day a student was having problems booting up the computer. I went to see what was happening, because she was becoming increasingly vocal about the quality of the hardware and the incompetence of the people (me) who were supposed to maintain it. I found that she was trying to boot off a floppy with no operating system. So I tried to tell her that she needed a DOS diskette to boot the computer.

* Her: “Why?”

* Me: “Well, because without the operating system the computer just cannot work.”

* Her: “But I don’t need the operating system.”

* Me: “I assure you, you do.”

* Her: “No, you don’t understand, I’ve already passed the operating systems exam. I’m preparing the coursework for simulation theory, so I don’t need an operating system. I already passed. Really.”

* Me: “I’m not talking about the exam. I am talking about the operating system for the computer.”

* Her: “Why on earth should I want to put an operating system on the computer when I have already passed the exam? I need to study simulation theory, not operating systems! The arrogance! Now you want to tell me what I should study? You don’t think I passed the exam on my merits alone? Huh?”

She stormed out of the lab and filed a formal complaint with the department’s secretary. The worst part was that I got reprimanded, because, apparently, the senior management didn’t know any better than she did. Yes, she graduated a couple of years later.

Stupid Bosses

I work a turgid minimum wage job in a mid-sized engineering plant whilst putting myself through college. I’ve been there for five years and have had three people to answer to in that time. For the first three years I had a male boss in his mid 40s who, while harsh and snappy at times, was generally OK to work with. Then about two years ago, he became quite ill – nothing serious, but enough to put him out of commission at a time when we were extraordinarily busy with an order and working very long hours…

Stupid CoWorkers

Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.

Worker #2: What’s that?

Worker #1: Taking a shit.

Worker #2: Oh?

Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…

Worker #2: …

Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it’s a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.

Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.

Worker #1: I think I’ve developed stealth poo tactics. I’m like a poo ninja.

Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker #1: poo ninja!!!!