Stupid Drivers

February 19, 2006

I was driving home from work, and of course, it was rush hour. I had a little old lady driving in front of me, and everyone was driving fast. Then another driver came down the on ramp to merge with the traffic. This lady in front of me slams on her brakes and comes to a complete stop (on the expressway)in order to let the other driver in. Everyone behind her had to slam on there breaks in order to keep from hitting each other. This lady just sat there for at least thirty seconds. The guy who was trying to merge looked terrified to get on the road after seeing what was happening, but the lady wasn’t about to move. One guy gets out of his car (sense we were all stopped) and yells at her to go “before he goes over there and beats her for being stupid.” Then, another driver yells out that he will help the other guy beat this poor little old lady. Terrified, she took off (after sitting there blocking both lanes of traffic) and gets off at the first off ramp.

Stupid Drivers

Stupid CoWorkers

February 16, 2006

I am an Analyst/Project Manager for a large bank in Southern California. My current project is the design of a Windows based Cash Management System for clients of the bank to use. Below is an actual encounter I had with an Executive Vice President (EVP). The success of my system (as well as my career) requires sign-off from this cerebrally challenged individual.

EVP: John, your system does not work. I can’t get in.

Me: What seems to be the problem?

EVP: When I try to enter the system, I get an error message.

Me: What does the message say?

EVP: Password Expired, please enter new password in field below.

Me: And what are you doing when you get this message?

EVP: I just press enter and it kicks me out.

Me: Did you enter a new password?

EVP: No, should I?

Me: Yes, that’s why it is asking you for one.

The EVP follows directions for the first time as I walk him through it.

EVP: Hey, now it works. What did you do to the system?

Me: Nothing. It asked you to put in a new password. Now that you entered your new password you were able to get in. It won’t ask you to do this again for another 90 days.

The next day.

EVP: John, your system does not work. I can’t get in.

Me: What message are you getting?

EVP: Password Invalid. I shouldn’t be getting this message. I know I put in the password correctly, I’ve been using the same one for three months! Why can’t you fix this system!

Me: Remember yesterday? You changed your password. The password you have been using for the last three months will not work. You have to use the new password you entered the other day.

After the EVP enters the new (correct) password.

EVP: Now it works! What did you do to the system?

Me: AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid Tech Support

February 13, 2006

I used to work for MacWarehouse as a tech support representative. One day a gentleman called who had never had a computer before. He was trying to set up his new system. I tried and I tried but I just couldn’t make him understand where to plug the cables in. Finally I looked up the details on his order. He had ordered top-of-the-line everything — monitor, keyboard, printer, modem, scanner, speakers, CD-ROM drive, external hard drive……except, he had not ordered the actual computer itself. No wonder the cables would not plug in anywhere.

Stupid Tech Support
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Stupid CoWorkers

February 11, 2006

One day as a lady got off from work, she went outside to the parking lot, but couldn’t find her car in her usual spot. She began to worry and search the parking lot and the began to panic when she still couldn’t find it. She then went outside to call the police to report the car stolen. Later, she got a ride home and as she was going into the garage, she noticed her car. She then wondered why the people who stole her car parked it in her garage. She then went inside the house to tell her husband the news. Her husband just kind of looked at her and reminded her that he drove her to work that morning.

Stupid CoWorkers
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