Stupid Students – One of my duties as a teacher…

One of my duties as a teacher at a respected university’s computing department is to assess students’ practical laboratory exercises. One day, a student proudly asked me to mark his work, a short programming exercise involving the development of around ten lines of code. Upon inspecting the code listing, it was very difficult not to notice the considerable preamble which was present at the top of the file. It consisted of a lengthy email header which had originated from a friend of the student and was followed by the line: “Here is the stuff you need to pass the exercise.” He didn’t.

Stupid Customers

There was a really angry user who called me, saying my company was @#$!# and its products were !@#$@, and I was @#$*! too. He said he bought our graphics card, and it didn’t work, and what the @&$!# was I going to do about it before he sued my lying butt.

After this I learned from him that he didn’t actually have our product.

Stupid Customers

Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”

Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”

Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

Stupid Customers

One time I was trying to set up a customer’s email program. I walked him through setting up an account with the incoming and outgoing server names set to “mail,” but it didn’t work. I tried again, and it still didn’t work. I was starting to right out of ideas, and then the customer said, “If my mail server name is ‘male,’ does that mean my girlfriend’s server is ‘female’?”