Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check on my student loans request.”

Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

Student: “I don’t got one.”

Me: “Can I have your first and last name?”

Student: “Yeah.”

(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “Sir, may I get your first and last name?”

Student: *gives name*

(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

Student: *shocked* “Oh, shit, really?”