CoWorker #1: (On a diet trying to lose weight, but has a big piece of coworkers birthday cake in hand): Did someone over here call me? I thought someone call my name.
CoWorker #2 : No, that’s just your conscience speaking to you trying to stop you from eating that cake!
Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”
Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”
Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”
Me: “You’re speaking to her.”
Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”
Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”
Caller: You own both the restaurants?
Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”
Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”
Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”
Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”
Me: “That’s it.”
Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”
Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”
Caller: “Oh…”
Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”
Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”
“““““
StartUp Funding News to keep up to date on venture capital funding at MintStartups.com
(I am a shift manager at a restaurant. I have many facial piercings, but always take them out for work.)
Me: “Hello this is the manager speaking, what seems to be the problem today?”
Caller: “I am calling to complain about one of your staff. They have horrendous facial piercings. It’s disgusting!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I must let you know that all of our staff are required to take out any piercings before starting their shift. What did this employee look like?”
Caller: “She looked like the devil! She had piercings in her lip nose and eyebrow!”
(I am the only one with these piercings, so she must be referring to me.)
Me: “Okay, ma’am, are you sure you saw this employee at the restaurant?”
Caller: “No, she was at the supermarket!”
Me: “You’re calling about one of our employees while they were off duty?”
Caller: “Yes! She never has them on at your restaurant, so they must have fallen into my food!”
Me: *speechless*
Caller: “YOU’RE GETTING SUED!”
Me: “**** Pizza, **** speaking. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I need directions to your store.”
Me: “OK, we’re located at **** Drive and **** Street.”
Customer: “So, if I come out of my driveway, do I turn left or right? East or West?
Me: “Uh… do you have a computer?”
Customer: “Yes, but why?”
Me: “Well, there’s this website, Mapquest.com–they should be able to help you.”
Customer: “Oh, well how do I get to Mapquest? Left or right?”