Tech Support: “Thank you for calling customer service, and how may I help you?”

Customer: “I can’t get it to do.”

Tech Support: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I can’t get my Internet to do.”

Tech Support: “Let’s check your setup.”

Customer: “Okey dokey.”

Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Tech Support: “Do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon.”

Customer: “I don’t see that one.”

Tech Support: “What screen are you on, and what does you desktop look like?”

Customer: “Wood.”

Tech Support: “What’s on your screen, ma’am?”

Customer: “A bunch of names.”

Tech Support: “Like what?”

Customer: “Bill, George, Larry, Jim.”

Tech Support: “What screen are you on?”

Customer: “I am on the one I’m on. I need to go get my daughter. She’s the computer guru of the family.”

Tech Support: “Great, thank you.”

April: “Hi, I’m April, and you are?”

Tech Support: “Mike.”

April: “Mike. Cool, dude.”

Tech Support: “Are you at your desktop?”

April: “You will have to excuse my mother. She’s a little dense.”

Tech Support: “No problem.”

April: “How old are you?”

Tech Support: “300 years old. I’m the ‘Highlander.’ Um, would you do a double click on the ‘My Computer’ icon?”

April: “Sorry, I don’t see that one.”

Tech Support: “What do you see?”

April: “Bill, George, Larry, and Jim.”

Tech Support: “What version of Windows are you using?”

April: “Ninety-something I guess.”

Tech Support: “Erm. Shut down the computer and reboot.”

April: “Ok….” (pause) “Done.”

Tech Support: “What does your screen say?

April: “Bill, Larry, Jim, Barbie, and Wimper.”

Tech Support: “Just for kicks, do a double click on ‘Bill,’ and see what happens.”

April: “What is this?”

Tech Support: “What did it do?”

April: “It now has little folders: modems, devices, etc.”

Tech Support: “Why was your ‘My Computer’ icon named Bill?”

April: “I wanted to name it something cute. Did I screw up?”