Stupid Salespeople

A friend and I visited a computer store in a mall. They had aisles of software and cabinets of hardware in the back. I was curious to know how much they charged for RAM, so we headed for the rear of the store.

Salesman: “May I help you, ladies?”

Me: “Sure. We’d like to see how much your RAM is.”

Salesman: (looking around uncertainly) “Let’s look over here. Is this for a Mac or PC?”

Me: “PC. I have an HP.”

Suddenly the salesman turns down a software aisle.

Salesman: “That sounds like a war game. It should be along in here if we have it.”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhh…we’re looking for RAM. You know, computer memory. Not software.”

Salesman: “Oh! Memory! That would be over in the children’s section.”

Stupid Salespeople

Overheard in a nationwide computer retail store:

Customer: “Now what does this 512MB of RAM mean on this PC?”

Salesman: “Umm…RAM is what slows down your PC, see it rams into your processing power, causing slowdowns, thus why it’s called RAM.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Salesman: “Who’s the expert here?”

I couldn’t stop laughing.

Stupid Friends

Sometime in the late 1990s, I had a friend who was an Amiga fanatic and would spend hours telling us how they were the most powerful, versatile, flawless machines ever conceived by man.

I went with him when he bought his new A-4000 and some 3D modelling software. He told us how it will render true 3D in almost real time. I shrugged, watched him set the thing up, and load the software. He fed the thing a wireframe and gave it some textures and background elements. Six days later, the computer finished rendering the first frame.

He explained later that he discovered he only had 2 megs of RAM and had ordered 4. “Isn’t that still kind of pathetic?” I asked. “My girlfriend’s HP has 16.”

He said, “Well, Amigas use everything so much more efficiently, so it compares to a PC with gigabytes of RAM. It’s enough to hack your IBM through the power outlet.”

I gave up all sense of restraint and must have laughed for 20 minutes.

Stupid Tech Support

Me: “How much RAM do you have?”

Friend: “Not that much; I own an old computer. I guess about 4 gigabytes.”

Me: “Uhuh, and what kind of CPU?”

Friend: “32 megabytes.”