Stupid CoWorkers

March 24, 2009

Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.

Worker #2: What’s that?

Worker #1: Taking a shit.

Worker #2: Oh?

Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…

Worker #2: …

Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it’s a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.

Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.

Worker #1: I think I’ve developed stealth poo tactics. I’m like a poo ninja.

Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker #1: poo ninja!!!!

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid CoWorkers

January 5, 2009

Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?

Office manager: White, why?

Paralegal: Ummm…I’m going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don’t mean spots…

Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn’t start moving.

(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)

Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid Things Overheard

December 13, 2008

Woman at office party: She’s got that psychological syndrome where she uses sex to get what she wants from men… What do they call that again?

Man: A whore.

Stupid Things Overheard
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Stupid Bosses

November 21, 2008

My boss yelled at me today, and I DO mean yelled.

He repeatedly said I was a “effing moron”. (censored for online purposes of course). Then he called me an “incompetent moron”.

Then he sent me an email and said he gives me “simple instructions that even a complete moron could follow”.

He accuses me of the most weird random stuff. Things that I did not do at all. Things that are so weird, its almost frightening to see into this man’s mind and anxiety.

I work for a small, privately owned business wherein im the only other person in the office. Times are hard, the economy is horrible and I need this job, but i cannot survive….not with a hostile work environment like this.

Stupid Bosses
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