Stupid Customers

April 18, 2006

One day a customer called complaining that he just received his computer, but it won’t turn on. When he first pushed the power button, the screen flashed and then everything died.

I couldn’t do much over the phone, so I went to the customer’s office. It was plugged in, everything was hooked up ok, but, sure enough, it refused to turn on. I decided to take it back and promised to deliver a new one as soon as possible. But when I went to pick it up, I couldn’t.

Fearful of thieves, the man had fired some 24 inch bolts straight through the box, through the hard drive, motherboard, everything, locking it to his desk.

“Oh,” he said, “I thought it was just the TV part that was important. Will my warranty cover this?”

Stupid Customers
, , ,

Stupid CoWorkers

March 29, 2006

I work at a multi-branch distribution company and one of my co-workers’ daughters, 19 at the time, was brought in to help with some general office work, i.e. filing, sorting, faxing, etc. She had been there for a couple of days when she was asked to fax a one page document to one of our branch locations. She was told to simply put the document into the machine and press the “Branch 1” button and the machine would do the rest. When she didn’t return as soon as expected, another worker went to see if something was wrong. She located her in front of the fax machine looking perplexed. “What’s wrong?” she was asked. “Something is wrong with this machine. Each time when I put the paper in and send it, it just comes right back out. It won’t take it!”

Stupid CoWorkers
, ,

Stupid CoWorkers

February 25, 2006

I worked at Friendly’s last summer, and had the pleasure of working with some funny cooks, Terry and Mark. Mark and Terry were having a great time picking on the new guy, who was just out to please everybody. Anyway, Mark and Terry shouted for help, quick, because things were getting busy…Tommy came running, willing to do anything in a time of crisis. Terry told him to drop everything he was preparing and quick, get the broccoli peeler..it should have been hanging with the other utensils. It was the one with a green handle. When Tommy didn’t see it, he returned to Terry who said that it must be upstairs with the other seldomly used utensils. Tommy climbed up into the attic, and Mark instructed him to look in the boxes next to the skylight bulbs. When he couldn’t find a green handled utensil in any of the boxes, he gave up and returned to Terry again. Terry told him to never mind, just go get the keys to the parking lot and help Mark outside. Tommy willingly headed out the backdoor, stopping in the office to ask the me for the keys to the parking lot. I gave him an odd look, while Mark and Terry were standing behind him and laughing.

For those readers of your page as stupid (or gullible) as Tommy, here’s some clarification:

Who needs to peel broccoli?

Why would a skylight (a hole in the roof) need bulbs?

What do you need with keys to the parking lot?

Stupid CoWorkers

Stupid CoWorkers

February 18, 2006

A nice but easily flustered older lady in our office one day believed she had locked her keys in her car. Befuddled, she recruited the building’s security guard to help her. While the security guard looked at the driver’s side front door and considered what to do, the lady realized the back door on the driver’s side was still unlocked. “That’s not supposed to be unlocked!” she exclaimed. In a flash she opened the door, pushed in the lock and slammed the door before the security guard could interrupt. Truly a true story.

Stupid CoWorkers