I work for a large ISP. In the middle of a call, suddenly there was a piercing high pitched beeping noise in the background.
Me: “What is that noise?”
Customer: “Hey Martinez!! I’m on the phone! Cut it out!”
Me: “What was that?”
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
Me: “What is that noise?”
Customer: “It’s from a device.”
Me: “What kind of device?”
Customer: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Like a fax machine or something?”
Customer: “I don’t know. Someone is under house arrest or something.”
I have been working at a local national chain computer store for the past few summers as a salesperson in networking hardware.
Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”
Him: “Hi, I’m looking for a router.”
Me: “Ok. What are you looking to use it for?”
Him: “Actually, I was looking to tap into a network”
Me: “You mean in hotspots?”
Him: “No, my neighbor three houses down has a network that I want to get into.”
Me: (blink) “What? Uh. What you would need is an adapter.”
Him: “Yeah, I have one of those, but I can’t get the signal from my house. I can only get it when I’m standing right outside their wall, but if I move away I don’t get it.”
Me: “Sir, without knowing what kind of router your neighbors have, I can’t definitively tell you if you can tap into their network, assuming it’s insecure.”
Him: “Oh, it’s unsecure. I got into it and figured out what they have. They have a 54mbs G router.”
Me: “Ok, sir, you’re not going to be able to get into their network.”
Him: “But what if I get this card?” (grabs a Pre-N card) “Don’t I get more range?”
Me: “Yes, but you’re still not going to get into their network.”
He proceeded to ask about four more wireless adapters until he got it that there was no possible way for him to get into their network. Then came the topper.
Him: “Maybe you should give them a new router for a present.”
Me: “That would be just a little creepy, sir.”
First of all, let me preface by saying that I am female. My roommate and I had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship once upon a time, a LONG time ago, but since we hace just become good friends. I needed a place to live, and he invited to live in his extra bedroom of his house. I had never visited the house, but DESPERATELY needed a cheap place, so I accepted.
Upon arrival of my first visit, I discovered that my future room was actually quite similiar in size to a closet. I argued rent price, and got it down to less than half–since my room was less than half the size of his! I moved in in November, and everything was great–for awhile! Enter Crystal–my roommates so-called “girlfriend.”
Now my roommate is 22 years old–his girlfriend, when he started dating her, was still in high school, and not yet 18! After laughing at him when he told me, I discovered he was serious. Now this seemingly healthy relationship progressed, and everything was fine. Then all of a sudden, his little 18 year old is here ALL the time….these two have absolutely no life except for each other. She had no job at the time, but she has one now–about 5-6 months after mooching off him. But when they are not at work, their life consists of sitting around our house–monopolizing the couch which I purchased for use, but not sure I’ve ever actually used–going to Wal-Mart or Target, and going out to eat. Thats ALL. They only hang out with each other, and only do those things. They never pick up after themselves, they mess up the house which I have cleaned, and they like to have early morning sex in tha bathroom that we share, and make loud sounds to wake me up. I’ve exacted revenge, however, by playing the William Tell overture at full volume everytime they start going at it. But with the messiness, I totally understand your pain! They try to throw their empty wrappers and other things away, but the garbage can is just so hard to hit! And its unbelievably tough to wipe up your mess and just soak your dishes in the sink, after I’ve just cleaned the kitchen.
Anyway, thats the gist of my roommate situation. I’m in the process of selling my car so I can move into my own apartment. Thanks again for the amusing, yet oh so true website! Take care!
Sincerely, Beth
One day, my former roommate decided to cook on the grill. Well this intelligent being turns on the gas and finds that the electric start isn’t working. He then goes into the house to get a match (keep in mind the the gas is still running). In the house he find a butane lighter, which is empty, so he attempts to fill the empty BUTANE lighter with zippo lighter fluid. The Gas is still running. Failing and spilling the fluid all over the lighter, he then for some reason clicks the little electric trigger (that made a nice flame.) Again, keep in mind the gas has been running for at least 5 minutes. So after the lighter incident I realized that the grill was still running. So I went outside, shut the gas off and waited about 5 minutes to let the gas clear out. After I feel it is safe to light the grill, I turn on the gas, throw in a match and presto…its ready to cook. My roommate then asks, “How’d you do that?” At this point I proceeded to tattoo the word “idiot” on his forehead.