Stupid Things Overheard

Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead?

Stupid CoWorkers

I have been working for the state of (stupidity) for 10 years. I have seen an enormous amount of ‘Enron’eous type of actions. This is one. Okay, I work in a regimented boot camp where I am a mid level manger, this is ran by my states military department. Our kids are called CADETS. Now here are some, very small idity bitty bit of what goes on here. We have an Alpha company and Bravo Company. A former employee of Bravo transfers to Alpha we will call him D. One of my employees comes to me and shows me 2 radios that he bought off of ‘D’. I look them over and asked him where ‘D’ got them, he tells me that ‘D’ bought them of the internet at e-bay. I asked him ‘then why do they have Alpha Company employee names on them?’ His face went white! I took the radios and photo copied them, ran the serial number with the supply section and yes they belong to the state! Hm. Most people would have at the very least been fired, oh but not this guy, his wife happens to be a department head in another department and the Assistant Director is very close to her :D. When all was said and done, I was the bad guy because I supposedly had a vengeance against ‘D’. You try to do the right thing and you get screwed. Funny thing is, no one every talked to me about the situation. It was just lost in space.

In another situation, our cadets helped the program director build his garage and helped the Bravo Company Director move to another house.

I have a thousand of these type of stories that would make a million bucks for me. But alas, no one wants to do anything because they would probably shut doors and this would hurt the kids. Unfortunately, the Enron type managers know this and it goes up to the highest levels in the Military Department. Anyone got job opening for an honest, Ethical Operations Specialist!

Stupid Customers

We sell routers, some of them equipped with built-in wireless access points.

Customer: “YOUR CRAPPY ACCESS POINT IS A WORTHLESS ****! I CAN’T BELIEVE I BOUGHT IT! I WANT MY MONEY BACK!”

Tech Support: “What seems to be the trouble?”

Customer: “I CAN HARDLY CONNECT TO IT WITH MY LAPTOP! EVEN IF I STAND RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR **** MY LAPTOP STILL SAYS CONNECTION QUALITY BAD. HOW CAN YOU SELL THIS CRAP?”

After about 15 minutes of ranting and trouble hunting, we finally concluded that:

The customer bought the entry-level model of our router.

That model does not have any built-in access point.

When the customer activated his laptop’s wireless client, it did, however, still manage to connect to an access point.

The access point his laptop connected to was found out to be his neighbor’s wireless access point.

His neighbor’s house was a good distance from his, hence the low connection quality.

Even though he bought a router from us and an Internet connection from a provider, he didn’t actually use them.

We doubted his neighbor would appreciate this, if he found out.

And the customer’s reaction to this news?

Customer: “BUT HOW CAN YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN! I THOUGHT YOU HAD A FIREWALL IN YOUR CRAP! IT SHOULD HAVE STOPPED MY LAPTOP FROM DOING IT!”

Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in California

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.Bathhouses are against the law.

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Bathhouses are against the law.

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It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

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Women may not drive in a house coat.

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No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.