Cubicle Girl: I heard she lost custody because she injected her kid with Botox for all those beauty pageants she attends.
Cubicle Guy: What? Botox? I bet her daughter didn’t look surprised at all.
Stupid Customers
In my checkout line…
Guy #1, Dude, ready for the cruise?
Guy #2: Yeah. I can’t wait to gamble. I’m taking like $300 with me.
Guy #1: Wait, $300 the whole trip or just to gamble?
Guy #2: Just to gamble. I really want to play that game where… You know, there’s a number that you have to hit… like 18?
Guy #1: You mean 21?
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s it !
Guy #1: I really want to play that one with the dice… What’s it called? Shits?
Guy #2: You mean craps?
Stupid Things Overheard
Guy #1: You can’t allow her to keep doing that to you, man.
Guy #2: Yeah, you’re right… Sometimes I wish I was gay.
Guy #1, after both guys laugh: …Uh… You were kidding, right?