Stupid Customers

February 2, 2008

Customer: “I ran your DSL installation CD, and it broke my computer. It’s restarted, and now its stuck at the Windows XP logo, and it’s been here for a hour before I called you guys.”

Tech Support: “Ok, let’s reboot your computer to see if it will boot up.”

Pause.

Tech Support: “Ok, what happened?”

Customer: “Well, I went to restart it and bumped the mouse, and now it’s asking me to log in.”

Tech Support: “OK, let’s log in, then.”

Customer: “Oh, the installation is still running. Why was my computer stuck at the startup?”

Tech Support: “By chance was the Windows XP logo changing position every couple of seconds?”

Customer: “Yes! It was! Why do you ask?”

The customer had spent an hour and 45 minutes staring at the Windows XP screen saver.

Stupid Customers
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Stupid Customers

October 1, 2007

Customer: “I got DSL, but it’s not working.”

Tech Support: “What kind of modem do you have?”

Customer: “Ummm, I dont know. It’s built into my laptop.”

Tech Support: “Ok, did you receive the modem package we sent out?”

Customer: “Modem package??”

Tech Support: “Well, it looks like the modem was shipped to (address), Pennsylvania.”

Customer: “I don’t live in Pennsylvania. I live in New York.”

Tech Support: “Huh. Do you know this Pennsylvania address?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s my Mom’s house.”

Tech Support: “Ok, this DSL phone number you gave me — is that your mother’s number?”

Customer: “Yes, they told me in order for me to have DSL, I need to have your company’s phone service. My mother has it, so I gave them her telephone number.”

Stupid Customers
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Stupid Customers

August 29, 2007

Customer: “I am going to shoot everyone at your DSL office. Where are you located at, anyways?”

Tech Support: “Uh, for security purposes, just like this, our company states we cannot reveal our call center’s location.”

Customer: “I am filing a complaint against you with the public utilities commission.”

Tech Support: “You do realize DSL is not a public utility, right?”

Stupid Customers
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Stupid Customers

May 13, 2006

Me: “DSL is a lot faster. It–”

Friend’s Father: “Yeah, but if you have DSL, there are a lot of threats.”

Me: “Yes, that’s true to a degree, but there are firewalls that–”

Friend’s Father: “No, but they can hack into your computer even when it’s off and steal your electricity.”

Me: “Umm…I’m pretty sure that won’t happen.”

Friend’s Father: “It’s all over the news. You mean to tell me they’re wrong?”

Me: “…I guess so.”

“““““

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Stupid Customers
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