Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men’s john a minute ago…

Cubicle worker #2: Go on…

Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…

Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.

Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!

Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person’s shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.

Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.

Cubicle worker #1: I didn’t get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.