Customer: “What does ‘dual-core’ mean?”
Salesman: “It basically means you have two computers in one. It also means you can plug your laptop into it.”
Stupid Customers
Customer: “Hi, I need you to fax something for me.”
Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”
(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)
Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”
Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”
Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”
Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”
Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”
Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”
Me: “I actually can’t, due to our privacy policy, but I will walk you through it.”
Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”
Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”
——-
Funny photos and tshirts are at Awzim.com
Stupid Customers
Customer: “Hey there, can you help me find a book?”
Me:“Of course, ma’am. Do you know the author or title?”
Customer: “Well you see, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it! I want that book.”
Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.”
Customer: “Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?”
Me: “Unfortunately, no.”
Customer: “I’ll go to a bookstore that has better computers.”
Stupid CoWorkers
(The office downstairs sometimes calls up to us for tech support. They’re not too great with computers.)
Guy from downstairs: “I think one of the computers has a virus.”
Me: “Ok, which one?”
Guy: “The one in the middle of the office.”
(This seems strange, as I remember that they don’t have any computers in the middle of the room.)
Me: “Have you moved the computers recently?”
Guy: “Yeah, we put it in the middle of the office so the other computers wouldn’t catch the virus!”
(I went downstairs and a disconnected desktop stands in all its glory in the middle of the room. It didn’t have a virus.)