Tech Support: “What version of Windows are you running?”
Customer: “I got the computer in 2003, so I think it’s a Windows 2003. Or maybe it’s a Windows 2004? I got it late in the year.”
Tech Support: “Um, ok.”
Customer: “Is that wrong?”
Tech Support: “No, no, that sounds about right. Tell me, would you know what service pack you have for that?”
Customer: “Well, when I got to the register, the young man who rang me up said was about the 5th person to buy it. So it might be service pack 5.”
Me: “**** Pizza, **** speaking. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I need directions to your store.”
Me: “OK, we’re located at **** Drive and **** Street.”
Customer: “So, if I come out of my driveway, do I turn left or right? East or West?
Me: “Uh… do you have a computer?”
Customer: “Yes, but why?”
Me: “Well, there’s this website, Mapquest.com–they should be able to help you.”
Customer: “Oh, well how do I get to Mapquest? Left or right?”
My brother-in-law was going to buy my sister a new computer for her birthday. He told me he was even going to buy her a copy of Google for it. She’s so lucky
(Sometimes I get very bored at work and decide to have fun with customers.)
Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”
Customer: “My computer isn’t working at all. It seems that something is wrong with it.”
Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do…”
(I place my hands on the computer and in my best imitation of a televangelist.)
Me: “IT IS HEALED! PRAISE THE LORD!”
Customer: “Oh my God, really? Are you serious?! Thank you!”
Me: “No, no I’m not.”
Customer: *completely baffled*
Me: “I hate my life.”