Stupid Criminals

BERLIN – A 21-year-old German woman who did not feel like going to work at a fast food restaurant sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped.

Police in the Bavarian town of Straubing said Wednesday they had launched a massive search throughout the region for the woman who disappeared on December 23 but turned up unscathed the following morning, saying the kidnapper had set her free.

A spokesman said the woman was questioned over the Christmas holiday and admitted she made up the story because she owed a colleague 25 euros ($32.9) and did not have the money to pay her debt. She now faces a fine of up to 1,000 euros.

Stupid Roommates

I’m not saying that my ex roommate Dan is stupid, I’m just saying that he’s one chip shy of a cookie. One day at lunch, we were all discussing where we would live over Christmas break. My wonderful AFRICAN AMERICAN friend, Letta, said that she would be living in a certain neighborhood of Columbus, at which point Dan shouts “Don’t live there! That’s a BLACK neighborhood!” I guess natural selection doesn’t always work.