(I work at the photo department and am checking out a customer with a “Happy Birthday, Grand Son!” birthday card.)
Customer: “Hello… I only have this one birthday card.”
Me: “Okay, that’ll be $3.15. I just need your signature on the line, please.”
(The customer begins to sign her receipt, then pauses. She looks closely at the slip, then looks up at me, angry.)
Customer: “Now how does this know who I am?!”
Me: “… excuse me?”
Customer: “It has my name on it! Right here, below the line! I have never shopped here before. Where did you get my information?”
Me: “Ma’am, the information comes from your credit card.”
Customer: “Well!”
(She signs the slip and gives it to me. I put the slip in the register drawer.)
Customer: “And what are you doing with that? It has my information on it. You can’t just keep it!”
Me: “Umm, we have to keep it. That’s how you pay for things…” *register prompts for a zip code* “… and may I get your zip code, please?”
Customer: “Why do you need my address?!”
Me: “Well, American Express needs it. It’s a security measure. And it doesn’t need your whole address, just the zip code.”
Customer: “This is identity theft! Give me back my signature!”
Me: “Um, I promise you, I am not. And I can’t open the drawer mid-transaction, but I can call a manager to cancel your transaction.”
Customer: “You aren’t a cashier! How do I even know you work here?!””
Me: “Well, here’s my name tag. And my picture is on the wall.”
Customer: “If you work in the photo department, that could be photoshopped! You do not work here! I want a manager!”
Me: “Umm, okay…” *calls manager*
Manager: “What can I help you with today?”
Customer: “This thief is stealing my personal identity!”
Manager: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “I want my signature back! She is asking too many questions!”
Manager: “Okay, I will take it from here. So what is your zip code?”
(My manager takes care of the rest of the transaction. The receipt then prints out…)
Manager: “Here you go! Tell your grandson to have a happy birthday!”
Customer: “AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY GRAND SON!? YOU PEOPLE STOP AT NOTHING! I AM REPORTING YOU! THIS IS ILLEGAL!” *continues yelling all the way out the door*