Female coworker #1: You need more man-attention than I do, even!
Female coworker #2: Well, you know Paul is coming over this weekend.
Female coworker #1: Who’s that?
Female coworker #3: Her booty call.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, he’s cool, you should totally call him.
Female coworker #1: Ew! I am not calling your booty call.
(I had two deliveries in the same area, and I had the 2 orders in one bag. I get to first house, take the pizza out of the bag and go to the door.)
Me: “Hi, that will be $28.27.”
Customer: “What is this? Where’s my bag?!”
Me: “What do you mean? What bag?”
Customer: “My security bag!”
Me: “You mean heat-wave bag?”
Customer: “NO! MY SECURITY F*****G BAG!”
Me: “You know, it’s a heat bag to keep the pizza warm, and it’s held with velcro.”
Customer: “ARE YOU F*****G STUPID?! I WANT MY SECURITY FACTOR! HOW DO I KNOW YOU DIDN’T PUT ACID IN MY BAG AND TRY TO KILL ME?!”
Me: “Well…here is your pizza.” *collects money* “You may call the store with any complaints.”
(Later she called the store and told the manager she couldn’t put it in her garbage because there might be acid in it.)
So I work at this stupid ass call center. I get pulled into the office by my soon to be a manager. She basically said that everybody is doing SOOOO much better than me:( She didn’t bother to show me stats:( Anyway, I have to act like I really care about this loser ass minimum wage job because I got to keep it until I get a second job:( I am looking as we speak to find something better cause too many fucking people worship this job!!!! Its easy to get in because its bullshit.
(A woman returns to our car wash with a scowl on her face, 15 minutes after leaving. Note that she drives a black Beetle and it’s been 80 degrees with sunny skies for the past week.)
Me: “Hi, welcome back!”
Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to speak with your owner please.”
Me: “He’s having a conference call right now. Is there something I can help you with?”
Customer: “Yeah, my car is still dirty.”
Me: “Oh, did the mud not wash off the back?”
Customer: “There was no mud. The egg didn’t wash off the roof of my car.”
Me: “Um, someone egged you car? How long has the egg been there?”
Customer: “A week or so, but thats not the point. It didn’t wash off!”
Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked into your paint. It’s never going to wash off.”
Customer: “What?! It’s just a f***ing egg! My car is not a g**d*** frying pan! It was some friends playing a joke… just wash it off!”
Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked on. You have to get it repainted. Whoever egged your car is no friend of yours.”
(The customer suddenly gets very quiet and glares at me.)
Customer: *whispers* “… Who have you been talking to?”
(The customer points her finger at my face and begins to slowly back out the door. She then slowly sits in her car and drives off… without breaking her stare.)