A while ago I was received a call from a woman who said that Eudora Pro was showing her password. I found this to be strange, because when you type it in your password in Eudora, it displays asterisks. So when I went over to her office and looked at her desktop. She had renamed the Eudora Pro icon with her password.
Customer: “I have just received your software, but I have these plastic things, what are they?”
Tech Support: “Could you describe them please?”
Customer: “They are black plastic, thin, and square.”
Tech Support: “Anything else?”
Customer: “They have a metal bit on one edge.”
Tech Support: “Disks?”
Customer: “Well, I don’t know, do I? I just brought your package. What do I do with them?”
I see a horrible call ahead, and the customer is quite irate already.
Tech Support: “Put the disks in the drive.”
Customer: “What’s a drive?”
Tech Support: “The slot in your machine that looks just the right size for the disk.”
Customer: “Which machine?”
Tech Support: “Do you have a hard drive?”
Customer: “I have two boxes. One has a picture on it.”
Tech Support: “Put the first disk in, metal side first.”
Customer: “Ok. It’s gone in.”
Tech Support: “Go to the ‘start’ button, then run, then type ‘setup’.”
Customer: “My computer isn’t on. How do I turn it on?”
Tech Support: “Push the button by the drive to eject the disk, and press the button that says ‘power’ on the machine without the pictures on it.”
Customer: “Ok. Done.”
Tech Support: “Now put in the disk, go to start, run, and type ‘setup’.”
Customer: “Oh, it’s all working now. Thanks, but your software isn’t very easy to use, is it?”
Customer: “Hello, I have a problem. My name is Bob Murton.”
Tech Support: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that problem.”
I did call him back and helped him fix his problem. He didn’t complain about my response, but he did get members of the department asking for a while afterwards if he’d fixed his “other” problem.
A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and an invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.