Kidnappers who abducted Gildo dos Santos near his factory in a suburb of Sao Paulo, Brazil, demanded $690,000, but Santos escaped. The next day, Santos got a phone call asking for $11,500 to defray the cost of the abduction. After negotiating a discount of 50 percent, Santos called police, who were waiting when Luiz Carlos Valerio showed up to collect payment.
I work for technical helpline. When our lines are busy, customers can leave messages in our voicemail. The system asks for the customer to leave contact info, machine details, and description of the problem. Here’s one message I got:
“There’s something wrong with my computer. I really can’t tell you what the problem is or what the machine does, but there definitely is something wrong with it. Could you please call me back soon?”
I hope the customer got the psychic message I sent him about how to fix the problem. I sure didn’t get his psychic message about the problem and his phone number.
An elderly woman called, furious.
Tech Support: “How can I help you ma’am?”
Customer: “You had better help me!”
Tech Support: “That’s why they pay me!”
Customer: “Don’t get smart with me!”
Tech Support: “Of course, ma’am, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Well, I’ve been waiting for quite some time!”
Tech Support: “Yes ma’am, our current wait is about twenty minutes. It usually isn’t that bad.”
Customer: (yelling) “Twenty minutes! I’ve been waiting three days!”
Tech Support: “You’ve defied sleep and other bodily functions for a full 72 hours?”
Isn’t it wonderful when they get vague? Turns out she clicked on the “Help” button in Word or something three days prior and was waiting for us to call her…despite the fact that her computer had no modem and was not near a telephone line.
The Riddler: You never really understand this type of co-worker. Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes unfriendly, sometimes knowledgeable, and sometimes dumb. The Riddler smokes and drinks and eats, but so irregularly that you wonder if he’s a smoker, or a drinker (or an eater).
Invisible Woman: The Invisible Woman (pictured below) is largely unnoticed in your office. She’s on the payroll, so everyone understands she’s somehow doing a good job, though no one understands exactly what this job is. Invisible Woman will avoid all after-work socialization, quietly leaving when work is done. The Invisible Woman doesn’t need to call in sick as no one will notice her missing anyway.
The Punisher: The Punisher is usually higher up in the hierarchy as he likes to bully people. When you did something wrong, The Punisher arrives on the scene to make you feel it by use of excessive force. Sometimes, when there’s two Punishers in one office, a no holds barred battle is going to erupt.