Stupid Customer: “Hey, I want a drink without any alcohol. What do you have?”
Me: “Well, can I get you a soda or something? Maybe some juice?”
Stupid Customer: “Can I get a virgin long island?”
Me: “You mean, you want an iced tea?”
Stupid Customer: “No, I want a virgin long island.”
Me: “But, a long island is mostly alcohol. I mean, there are five shots in it. Then some sour and some coke. Do you want a glass of sour and coke?”
Stupid Customer: “Is that alcoholic?”
(I give up and hand her an iced tea.)
Stupid Customer, turning to a friend: *excitedly* “I got a virgin long island!”