Stupid Customers

Customer: “I’d like to return this box of cereal. It tastes like it spoiled when I ate it. Here’s my receipt.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. We can’t take it back. You only have 90 days to return this item, and you bought it over 5 months ago.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I could have gotten sick from this!”

Me: *looks in box* “Ma’am, this is an empty box of cereal. Where’s the cereal?”

Customer: “I told you. I ate it!”