Stupid Customers

(A woman returns to our car wash with a scowl on her face, 15 minutes after leaving. Note that she drives a black Beetle and it’s been 80 degrees with sunny skies for the past week.)

Me: “Hi, welcome back!”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to speak with your owner please.”

Me: “He’s having a conference call right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, my car is still dirty.”

Me: “Oh, did the mud not wash off the back?”

Customer: “There was no mud. The egg didn’t wash off the roof of my car.”

Me: “Um, someone egged you car? How long has the egg been there?”

Customer: “A week or so, but thats not the point. It didn’t wash off!”

Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked into your paint. It’s never going to wash off.”

Customer: “What?! It’s just a f***ing egg! My car is not a g**d*** frying pan! It was some friends playing a joke… just wash it off!”

Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked on. You have to get it repainted. Whoever egged your car is no friend of yours.”

(The customer suddenly gets very quiet and glares at me.)

Customer: *whispers* “… Who have you been talking to?”

(The customer points her finger at my face and begins to slowly back out the door. She then slowly sits in her car and drives off… without breaking her stare.)