Stupid Customers

March 27, 2009

Me: “Hi, what can I get for ya?”

Customer: “Yeah, um…do you guys serve breakfast?”

Me: “Oh no, sorry, we only serve brunch on Sundays. We have bagels and pastries in the case right there.” *pointing*

Customer: “Hmm, no, I really wanted breakfast.”

Me: “Sorry, it’s just Sundays.”

Customer: “But I smell bacon!”

Me: “Yeah, the cook is in the back prepping for the day, and we have some sandwiches with bacon on them.”

Customer: “I smell bacon! You serve breakfast! I want a hot breakfast!”

Me: “Uh, no… just brunch on Sundays. Our lunch starts at 11:00am if you want to come back.”

Customer: “NO! I smell bacon and I want breakfast now!” *storms out*

Me: “…”

Stupid Customers

Stupid CoWorkers

March 24, 2009

Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.

Worker #2: What’s that?

Worker #1: Taking a shit.

Worker #2: Oh?

Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…

Worker #2: …

Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it’s a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.

Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.

Worker #1: I think I’ve developed stealth poo tactics. I’m like a poo ninja.

Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker #1: poo ninja!!!!

Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid Bosses

March 21, 2009

So yeah…I started working in this place just over a year ago and right out of college. I was late getting my degree and had worked in the non-profit sector for years and years, so this job looked great to me not only because of the pay (it pays very well, I’ll give it that), but also because I was guaranteed a work schedule that would accommodate further education. The catch? I had to work a very nontraditional schedule for a few months, six months max, and I would need to work in other departments as needed until my department was fully ready.

Okay. No problem….

Stupid Bosses
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Stupid Customers

March 19, 2009

Me: “**** Pizza, **** speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I need directions to your store.”

Me: “OK, we’re located at **** Drive and **** Street.”

Customer: “So, if I come out of my driveway, do I turn left or right? East or West?

Me: “Uh… do you have a computer?”

Customer: “Yes, but why?”

Me: “Well, there’s this website, Mapquest.com–they should be able to help you.”

Customer: “Oh, well how do I get to Mapquest? Left or right?”

Stupid Customers
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