Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I’m sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.
Stupid Customers
(A woman returns to our car wash with a scowl on her face, 15 minutes after leaving. Note that she drives a black Beetle and it’s been 80 degrees with sunny skies for the past week.)
Me: “Hi, welcome back!”
Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to speak with your owner please.”
Me: “He’s having a conference call right now. Is there something I can help you with?”
Customer: “Yeah, my car is still dirty.”
Me: “Oh, did the mud not wash off the back?”
Customer: “There was no mud. The egg didn’t wash off the roof of my car.”
Me: “Um, someone egged you car? How long has the egg been there?”
Customer: “A week or so, but thats not the point. It didn’t wash off!”
Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked into your paint. It’s never going to wash off.”
Customer: “What?! It’s just a f***ing egg! My car is not a g**d*** frying pan! It was some friends playing a joke… just wash it off!”
Me: “Ma’am, the egg is baked on. You have to get it repainted. Whoever egged your car is no friend of yours.”
(The customer suddenly gets very quiet and glares at me.)
Customer: *whispers* “… Who have you been talking to?”
(The customer points her finger at my face and begins to slowly back out the door. She then slowly sits in her car and drives off… without breaking her stare.)
Stupid CoWorkers
This lady is the most unprofessional person that I have ever worked for in my entire life!
This woman is the VP of HR but yet she acts like she should be working for People magazine as a gossip columnist.
This woman will take her entire team to lunch and will reveal very confidential information in a public setting—she will tell about people’s medical information, marriage issues, sexual preferences, etc.
No subject is off limits! She will always start the conversation with..this information is confidential…I am only telling you about this because you are a part of HR. None of the information is relevant to our jobs….I mean seriously…did we need to know that you fired the person because you suspected he had a personality disorder! Did we need to know that a person resigned because they were having marriage issues and their child was a drug addict! Or about how someone’s husband divorced her because he was gay!
Stupid Tech Support
Tech support: “Now, press the up arrow.”
Customer: “I don’t see any up arrow.”
Tech support: “It’s above the rest of the arrows at the lower left.”
Customer: “All I see above the arrows is an ‘I’ with a funny little hat on it.”
Tech support: “Press that!”