Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn’t we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don’t close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?
Stupid Bosses
So I work at this stupid ass call center. I get pulled into the office by my soon to be a manager. She basically said that everybody is doing SOOOO much better than me:( She didn’t bother to show me stats:( Anyway, I have to act like I really care about this loser ass minimum wage job because I got to keep it until I get a second job:( I am looking as we speak to find something better cause too many fucking people worship this job!!!! Its easy to get in because its bullshit.
Stupid Customers
Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find a certain section?”
Customer: “I’m looking for a card.”
Me: “Okay. What type of card?”
Customer: “Well, there is this guy and he is my friend…but not really…and I want to get him a special card.”
Me: “Okay, I’m not sure I understand. Do you want a friendship card?”
Customer: “No. Oh my God, he would hate that! It’s just that…we’re friends, but not really. Like, we’re more than friends.”
Me: “So, your boy–”
Customer: “OH, GOD NO! He’s not my boyfriend. We just have a lot of sex, and I want to get him a card…for that.”
Me: “Ma’am…I don’t think we actually make ‘Sex Buddy Cards’.”
Customer: *long pause*
Me: “Maybe a ‘Thank You’ card?”
Customer: *runs from store*
Stupid Customers
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What’s the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here’s thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I’m not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!