CoWorkers #1: “Your breath smells very bad.”
CoWorkers #2: (gasps with hand over her mouth) “…That hurts my feelings!”
CoWorkers #1:” Imagine how many people’s feelings you would have hurt if I didn’t tell you.”
Stupid Customers
In my checkout line…
Guy #1, Dude, ready for the cruise?
Guy #2: Yeah. I can’t wait to gamble. I’m taking like $300 with me.
Guy #1: Wait, $300 the whole trip or just to gamble?
Guy #2: Just to gamble. I really want to play that game where… You know, there’s a number that you have to hit… like 18?
Guy #1: You mean 21?
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s it !
Guy #1: I really want to play that one with the dice… What’s it called? Shits?
Guy #2: You mean craps?
Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorker on phone: Hold on a minute (presses hold then says to Team Leader). John is on the phone and needs to talk to you
Team Leader: Tell him I’m at lunch.
CoWorker: (back on phone) Hi, he says he’s at lunch
Team Leader: (rage in eyes)
CoWorker: Whaat?
Stupid Customers
(I am a telephone operator for a large insurance company that has thousands of employees, so I need a last name to transfer people)
Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Mike?”
Me: “Yes, what is Mike’s last name?”
Caller: “I’m not sure, I just know his first name is Mike.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we have hundreds of Mike’s so I would need a last name.”
Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”
Me: “Okay, but if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”
Caller: *hangs up*