Stupid Customers

Me: “Your total is $79.82.”

(The customer hands me her debit card.)

Me: “Slide your card in the machine please.”

Customer: “I already did.”

Me: “Did you really? It doesn’t say you did.”

Customer: “It’s talking to you? I think it’s lying!”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you slide it again.”

Customer: “Fine.” *slides card*

Me: “Select a ‘Payment Type’.”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “The type of card you are using.”

Customer: “Oh, debit.”

Me: “Okay. Push debit.”

Customer: “What is a PIN?”

Me: “The 4 digit password.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. What is it?”

Me: “I don’t know ma’am. It’s supposed to be private.”

Customer: “Oh, well, just whisper it…I won’t tell anyone.”

Me: “Just press credit.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “But I didn’t type in my PIN number.”

Me: “It’s fine ma’am. You are done.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(Customer sees my manager as she is leaving.)

Customer: “That young lady was wonderful! She gave me free groceries.”

Stupid Bosses

I work in finance for a company in Manhattan. I have a boss who is really jealous of everyone around him and always tries to prove that he knows it all and he is the smartest person on the face of planet earth and I can tell you that he is far away from that. Beside his negative views regarding the economy, the world and the people, he is actually doesn’t like anyone to live life or even exercise or even go home to have dinner with family…he just believe that if you work you have to over do it and if you eat you have to over do it as well.

Yesterday he called me to his office and started questioning my ability of understanding the business claiming that couple of the reports that I created few weeks ago aren’t quite right and made him think again if “I get it”. The normal response was “what did I do wrong in these reports?” He kept going left and right without clarifying what I did wrong and I kept asking him, I would like to know what I did because every thing I did was based on the data provided by him from his own work. At the end after long period of humiliating and criticizing me, my work and everything about me, he said “I thought the numbers I provided you were right but they weren’t”. At this moment, I got confused and told him so what you wanted me to do if your numbers were wrong and you asked me to get these reports done in less that 1 hour, he still insisted that I should have looked at the numbers and said that they don’t make sense to me. So I told him, why they didn’t make sense to you at the first place and you’re the one who came up with them, he kept insisting that it was my mistake. Then I had to leave his office with great amount of anger and frustration.

Stupid CoWorkers

Once I got called to the office of a co-worker (let’s call him Joe User) to help him figure out his username (he knew his password).

* Me: “Your username is ‘Joe User’.”

* Him: “Unacceptable! How much am I supposed to remember? I can only remember a certain number of things.”

* Me: “Wouldn’t one of those things be your name?”

* Him: “I guess I’ll have to write it down.”

He proceeded to write his own name on a sticky note and attach it to his monitor.

Stupid Things Overheard

Web designer: I need you to print out 65 of those PowerPoint presentations I created.

Graphic designer: How many?

Web designer: 65.

Graphic designer: Okay. Let me write this down. I’m not good at math.