Dental assistant: What was the name of that movie? The one about Pearl Harbor? You know, the one where they bomb Pearl Harbor?
Dentist: Um, I think it was called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: No, it was a romantic movie… Where they bomb Pearl Harbor.
Dentist: Yeah, it’s called Pearl Harbor.
Dental assistant: Oh, yeah! Pearl Harbor!
(A little boy is about to go off the high dive when I stop him. His grandmother, upset, approaches and questions me.)
Grandmother: “Why won’t you let my grandson swim?”
Me: “We don’t believe he is a strong enough swimmer to be safe in the deep end.”
Grandmother: “So can he just go off the high dive?”
Me: “No, if he went off the high dive, he would most likely drown.”
Grandmother: “Well, you are a lifeguard! Isn’t it your job to stop him from drowning? You are discriminating against my grandchildren! You lifeguards are just lazy!”
CSR on phone with customer: I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t cover vehicles outside the United States.
(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Me: “Okay, ma’am, just slide your card and either select credit or enter your PIN.”
Customer: “It says credit. This is a debit.”
Me: “I know, ma’am. Just enter your PIN for debit.”
Customer: “But it says credit!”
Me: “I know, just put in your PIN like on any debit machine.”
Customer: “But the button on the screen says credit!”
(Seeing no end to this conversation, I put my hand over the screen and block her view of it.)
Me: “Okay, now enter your PIN.”
(She does so, and not surprisingly her groceries are paid for.)