Woman to group: Do you any of you know Sally*?
Group members, shaking heads: No
Woman: Just as well, she just quit.
Stupid CoWorkers
Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men’s john a minute ago…
Cubicle worker #2: Go on…
Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…
Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.
Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!
Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person’s shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.
Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.
Cubicle worker #1: I didn’t get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.
Stupid CoWorkers
Office Prank Gone Wrong….
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Stupid Customers
Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [travel agency]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, I need to get to Hawaii by Saturday.”
Me: “Okay, let me just see what flights are available.”
Caller: “Flights? As in flying? No way! I am terrified of flying! Can you look up some train tickets for me?”
Me: “Ma’am, Hawaii is in the middle of Pacific Ocean. There is no train service to Hawaii.”
Caller: “What? Hawaii is part of the United States, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is.”
Caller: “Then how can it be in the middle of the Ocean? Fine then, what about taking a boat?”
Me: ”Ma’am, there are cruise services to Hawaii, but I can assure you that the only way you are going to get to Hawaii by Saturday is by flying.”
Caller: “Well, what about those speed boats that drug users use from Cuba?”
Me: “Well, ma’am, those boats don’t have the ability to cross the ocean, and Cuba is only 90 miles from the United States.”
Caller: “90 miles? Sonny boy, Cuba is out in the middle of the ocean. Haven’t you ever looked at a map?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Caller: “Forget it, I’ll just call another travel agency that knows their history.”
Me: “Do you mean geography?”
Caller: *click*