Stupid Customers
(A woman and her daughter are standing by the cigarette counter where I am working.)
Child: “Mummy, can I have a chocolate bar?”
Mother: “Okay. Pick the one you want and give it to the man.”
(There is a long, tense pause as the child and I look at one another.)
Child: *in a very condescending tone* “Mummy. I think it’s a lady.”
Me: “She is correct.”
Stupid Customers
Female guest at front desk: I want to do laundry. Give me four and half dollars in quarters.
Desk attendant: I can give you five dollars in quarters with this.
Female guest: I only want four and half dollars.
Desk attendant: M’am, you gave me a five dollar bill.
Female guest: Just give me four and half dollars in quarters!
Desk attendant: Okay. Here’s four-fifty in quarters. And here’s two quarters change.
Female guest: Finally. Thank you.
Stupid Customers
Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”
Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”
Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”
Me: “You’re speaking to her.”
Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”
Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”
Caller: You own both the restaurants?
Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”
Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”
Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”
Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”
Me: “That’s it.”
Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”
Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”
Caller: “Oh…”
Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”
Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”
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