Female coworker #1: Is that a cucumber you just pulled out of your desk?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, Connie gave it to me yesterday. So watch out: today is “beat people with a cucumber day”, so if you piss me off I’m gonna hit you with this cucumber.
Female coworker #1: Wait… Why did Connie give you a cucumber?
Female coworker #2: She had it at her desk yesterday and was having some fun with it. Then she got tired of it, so she gave it to me.
CoWorker #1: You should try some breathing exercises to help you sleep.
CoWorker #2: Did you just say “breeding exercises”?
CoWorker #1: Well, if you think that would work better…
Boss to Female CoWorker: Hey, did you get all that done?
Female CoWorker: Yep, just finished.
Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You’re not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!
Female CoWorker: Uh… Okay.
Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)
When I lived in LA, I needed to travel to Hong Kong for business. I called a travel agent, told her the days I needed to travel, and she said she would have to get back to me for such a complicated itinerary. A little confused, I said fine and hung up.
About three hours later she called back and said she finally had it all worked out. There were five connections over three different airlines, and would take a total of about 32 hours to get there. She proceeded to walk me through the connections which had me going from LA to New York to London to Paris to Frankfurt to Hong Kong.
When I asked why she didn’t just book the 13 hour non-stop flight from LA to Hong Kong over the Pacific, she seemed confused and said she didn’t know you could go that way around. I guess she had a map and not a globe.
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