Stupid Customers

December 28, 2005

I used to work at an Arby’s. In the two years I worked there, the dumbest customer by far has been one that apparently never succeeded at first grade math.

Me: “That will be $12.69, please.”

Him: “Ok. Here you go.”

He handed me a $10 bill. Thinking that this was just a mistake, that maybe he meant to give me a $20, I said:

Me: “This is a $10 bill.”

Him: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “The total is $12.69.”

Him: “I gave you a 10. That’s enough.”

Me: “I need $2.69 more. The total is $12.69.”

Him: (annoyed) “It’s all there! I gave you a 10!”

Me: “No. I need $2.69 more.”

Him: “I gave you a 10!”

Me: “I know. The total is $12.69! I need another $2.69!”

This situation kept on going for a good four or five minutes, when something really wrong happened. I just had him on the verge of giving me a $50 bill, when a manager changed the price to make it less than $10. After I told the customer that, he said:

Him: “Darn kids don’t know how to do math these days.”

I suppose the moral of the story is act dumb, even if you aren’t, and rewards will follow.

Stupid Customers

Stupid Salesperson

December 28, 2005

A pizza-and-sub takeout recently opened near me. When I got the menu, I decided that I would try the hamburger sub that was listed, so I called.

Me: “I’d like to place an order for pickup.”

Him: “Certainly, sir. What would you like to have?”

Me: “I’d like the hamburger sub, please.”

Him: “Excuse me, the HAMburger sub?”

Me: “Yes.”

Him: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have HAMburger.”

Me: “It’s right here on the menu.”

Him: “We don’t have HAMburger.”

This went on a few times, until finally I asked for a cheeseburger sub without the cheese. He was happy to sell me that.

Stupid Salespeople

Stupid CoWorkers

December 22, 2005

My school district decided to require us school psychologists to do all our reports on laptops and print from a single printer. After a few months the laptop they provided me ceased to work with the printer. I spoke with the IT Manager.

IT Manager: “I don’t know if the problem is a hardware problem or a software problem.”

Me: “Ok.”

IT Manager: “So I can’t solve the problem now.”

Me: “When can you solve it?”

IT Manager: “I told you: I don’t know if it is a hardware problem or a software problem. I can’t fix it until I know.”

Me: “Ok. I need to print my reports. When will I be able to?”

IT Manager: (angrily) “Look, if it’s a hardware problem I can’t fix it! I don’t know if it is a hardware or a software problem.”

I made several more attempts to communicate with the IT manager about this problem over the next few weeks, only to find myself in the same conversation. Finally, I sent a memo to my boss, explaining that I was having difficulty getting tech support and could not print out my reports. My boss wrote back:

Boss: “Please do not harass the IT Manager anymore. He has already explained to you that he doesn’t know whether it is a software problem or a hardware problem.”

“““““

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Stupid CoWorkers
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Stupid CoWorkers

December 22, 2005

My sister is a very intelligent woman when it comes to “book smarts,” but a little naive in the ways of the real world. She used to work as a waitress, which I won’t knock, because it IS a hard job. But when the cooks told her to go to the basement (restaurant had no basement) to get the dehydrated water, she searched for the basement entrance for an hour before realizing she’d been the butt of a joke. Another time, one of the salad girls had been busy, so my sister decided to make the salad herself. Just as she was carrying it to the customer, the salad girl grabbed her and said “what are you doing?” My sister said “well, she asked for the dressing on the side.” You guessed it- she had put a little salad in the middle of the plate and poured dressing around the edges!

Stupid CoWorkers
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