Tech Support: “Well, sir, in that case I have to cancel the test and try again. So please leave your cable modem on this time.”
Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) “What? You have cancer?”
Stupid Criminals
Chicago – A man robbing a dry cleaning store blew off part of one finger with a shotgun, police said. “This is no toy; the gun is loaded,” the robber said to his victims Monday in the Pekin Cleaners on Chicago’s south side. Police said the robber, wearing a red handkerchief over his face and carrying a sawed-off 12-gauge shotgun, then opened the gun to show it was loaded. When he closed it, the weapon fired, taking off two-thirds of the little finger of his left hand. After the gun fired, he took $10 from the cash register and a portable television set from the counter and fled. Police said they recovered the tip of the finger and were able to get a fingerprint. A store employee, Hattie Butler, said she did not realize the robber had injured himself because he did not show any signs of pain.
Stupid Drivers
Here in the Norfolk, VA area we have a pair of H.O.V. (Carpool) lanes that run in the middle of the freeway (i.e. 3 east bound, 2 H.O.V. and 3 west bound lanes). These lanes are separated from the rest of traffic by a concrete barrier and the traffic direction can be changed to run either east or west depending on the amount of traffic. Each end of these lanes have a set of six drop down barricades similar to those used at railroad crossings to keep opposing traffic from entering the HOV lanes. There have been three instances where people have been driving the wrong way on the HOV lanes killing themselves and/or others.
The first was an Alzheimers patient that decided to enter the HOV and travel the wrong direction at one of the openings designed to allow emergency vehicles to enter.
The second was two days later when a drunk motorcyclist decided to make a U-turn after he had gotten onto the HOV lanes. He was killed when he was thrown off an overpass and landed on the freeway below.
The third was from a 70 year old who after smashing his way through the first 3 barricades, and carefully maneuvering around the other three, killing not only himself but the innocent driver that he hit.
Stupid CoWorkers
There were three of us picking on the new kid at the store, myself being the lead instigator. I had told this poor gal that we were out of toilet paper in the bathrooms and asked her to please go upstairs to get some more TP. The store was in a one-story strip mall. Not only did she look for the upstairs, it took her about 10 minutes to figure it out!