IT guy: And you can help with setting up the sites, too.
Super-cute admin assistant: Okay.
Office manager, walking in: What’s going on?
IT guy: I was just telling her that she could help me out this year if she wanted to.
Office manager: Oh yeah, she’s an untapped resource.
IT guy, after pause: I’d tap that.
Customer: *holding a bottle of wine* “Are you old enough to sell me this?”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
(I reach out to take the bottle, but he refuses to hand it to me.)
Customer: “Are you sure that you’re old enough?”
Me: “Yes. I wouldn’t be a cashier otherwise. I’m pretty sure you only have to be eighteen.”
Customer: “Are you eighteen?”
Me: “Nineteen, yes. Would you like me to sell you it?”
(The customer finally releases his hold on the wine. I begin to scan.)
Customer: “Are you sure you’re allowed to? You look pretty young.”
Me: “I’m old enough.”
Customer: “Do I get a discount for calling you young?”
Chubby CoWorker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby CoWorker, after girl has left: I don’t have a niece. I will have that hat!
Customer: “Your escalators are broken.”
Security: “What do you mean by broken?”
Customer: “They aren’t moving.”
Security: “Okay. Which one is it?”
(The customer leads the security guard to the “escalator” and stands on the top step.)
Customer: “See, broken.”
Security: “Sir, those are stairs.”
——-
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