I was working for Pizza Hut. One day the Head Manager came in early open the store. He came in and set up the store, opened the safe, and the locked the door and left. He left a note for the manager that would be there that day. “S- The safe is open . . .” He left this note taped to the counter so you could read it from the front window.
I work in the publicity department of a publishing house specializing in illustrated books, and we receive many requests for free review copies. Recently we received a letter from an inmate requesting a book for the prison library. Apparently, he had been sentenced to 10 years and enjoyed drawing. While debating the cost of humanitarianism against sending an expensive book to a prisoner, a co-worker from another department, who had been listening to the discussion, asked, “What’s he in for? “He’s a cat burglar,” I replied. Her face darkened, and she blurted, “Don’t send it to him he’s lying.” “How do you know?” I asked. “You don’t get 10 years for stealing cats,” she said.
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I work in tech support for an ISP. I got a call from one of our more troublesome users. Her computer was having some difficulty connecting, so, since it was a Windows machine, I suggested the most common fix-it, rebooting.
Me: “Have you tried rebooting your computer?”
Customer: “What?! Oh no, you never, EVER, reboot a computer!”
Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that it’s perfectly safe to–”
Customer: “No! If I went to the president of Milicron (a computer manufacturer) and told him that you said to reboot my machine, he would just laugh at that! You don’t ever reboot a computer!”
Me: “Well, something like that might be reasonable if it were a large server or something, but rebooting your PC won’t cause any–”
Customer: “No! No! No!” (click)