Stupid Students

March 28, 2006

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I started to type, “Leave me alone!”

They both jumped back, silenced. “What the…” the teacher said. I typed, “I said leave me alone!” The kid got real upset. “I didn’t do anything to it, I swear!” It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes.

Me: “Don’t touch me!”

Her: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit your keys that hard.”

Me: “Who do you think you are anyway?!”

Etc. Finally, I couldn’t contain myself any longer and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.

Stupid Students
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Stupid Tech Support

March 27, 2006

We have a service contract at a local college. I got a call one day from someone who said that their Mac IIsi was having a problem. Upon questioning him, he said that whenever he typed on the keyboard, the image on the monitor was shaking. All sorts of monitor problems ran through my mind. I asked him if it was only when he typed and he replied yes. Well, since it was a contract, I figured we’d better go see what was happening. My tech called me about ten minutes after arriving and reported that the problem was not the computer, but his desk. The desk vibrated every time he typed on his keyboard. I am still shaking my head on this one. The sad thing is that this guy has “Dr.” in front of his name and is a professor at a major college.

Stupid Tech Support
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Stupid Roommates

March 26, 2006

My freshman year in college, I had a roommate who was bright enough but had a tendency to speak One day, my former roommate decided to cook on the grill. Well this intelligent being turns on the gas and finds that the electric start isn’t working. He then goes into the house to get a match (keep in mind the the gas is still running). In the house he find a butane lighter, which is empty, so he attempts to fill the empty BUTANE lighter with zippo lighter fluid. The Gas is still running. Failing and spilling the fluid all over the lighter, he then for some reason clicks the little electric trigger (that made a nice flame.) Again, keep in mind the gas has been running for at least 5 minutes. So after the lighter incident I realized that the grill was still running. So I went outside, shut the gas off and waited about 5 minutes to let the gas clear out. After I feel it is safe to light the grill, I turn on the gas, throw in a match and presto…its ready to cook. My roommate then asks, “How’d you do that?” At this point I proceeded to tattoo the word “idiot” on his forehead.

Stupid Roommates
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Stupid Roommates

March 25, 2006

My freshman year in college, I had a roommate who was bright enough but had a tendency to speak before thinking. The first classic scenario from that year was when we had just moved in (there were 5 of us in a “suite”) and were discussing the fact that our college was very close to the state capital. “Wow,” the roomie says, “wouldn’t it be great if we had a war?” We looked at her blankly. “I mean, if we wanted to protest it would be SO convenient!”

The other memorable incident was a few months later. “What are you guys doing?” she said as she entered the room. “We were just talking about Jim Henson.” “Ohhhhh yeah, Jim Henson. Is he still dead?” Three of us burst out laughing while another roomie replied, “No, he’s back from the grave and touring with Elvis this summer.” She merely looked confused and left again.

Stupid Roommates