Stupid Family Members

April 5, 2006

One night my son was playing a computer game while I was watching TV. I asked him to turn the sound down, and he did. After a short while he came over to watch TV with me. Every so often I would hear the engine noise of his game. I asked him to turn off the game. He did. I was still hearing the noise and told at him to turn it off. He said he had switched off the power to the PC, but I was still hearing the engine noise about once a minute. We went over to look. Sure enough, the computer was off, but the sound was still there. We unplugged the speakers. Didn’t help. We pulled out the batteries. Didn’t help. Then I realized it was my pager that had been sitting on one of the speakers.

Stupid Family Members
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Stupid Tech Support

April 4, 2006

We sell Texas Instuments graphing calculators, the kind you can synch with your computer to put simple programs onto them. A customer called up with a problem his kid was having. They had tried to download a couple programs to the calculator, but neither worked. After a bit more conferring, it transpired that they had tried to put Quake III and WinAmp on the thing.

I wonder how that kid thought he was going to listen to music on his calculator?

Stupid Tech Support
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Stupid Tech Support

April 3, 2006

Customer: “Your sound card is defective and I want a new one.”

Tech Support: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It’s defective.

Tech Support: “You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker the right side of the machine and vice versa.”

Customer: (sputter) (click)

Tech Support: (snicker)

Stupid Tech Support
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Stupid Roommates

April 2, 2006

One day, my former roommate decided to cook on the grill. Well this intelligent being turns on the gas and finds that the electric start isn’t working. He then goes into the house to get a match (keep in mind the the gas is still running). In the house he find a butane lighter, which is empty, so he attempts to fill the empty BUTANE lighter with zippo lighter fluid. The Gas is still running. Failing and spilling the fluid all over the lighter, he then for some reason clicks the little electric trigger (that made a nice flame.) Again, keep in mind the gas has been running for at least 5 minutes. So after the lighter incident I realized that the grill was still running. So I went outside, shut the gas off and waited about 5 minutes to let the gas clear out. After I feel it is safe to light the grill, I turn on the gas, throw in a match and presto…its ready to cook. My roommate then asks, “How’d you do that?” At this point I proceeded to tattoo the word “idiot” on his forehead.

Stupid Roommates
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