Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It’s under warranty.”
Tech Support: “What seems to be the trouble with it?”
Customer: “My wife got mad and threw it in the pool.”
Stupid Customers
A man purchased a laptop from me. He called about a week later and said that it would no longer boot up. He brought it in, and I discovered that sixteen nicely drilled holes were in the bottom of the case. I asked him about it, and he said the machine was too hot sitting on his lap, so he had drilled these “air holes.”
“Could that be the problem?” he asked.
Stupid Bosses
My female boss was the self-appointed office manager. Self-appointed because she was a company director. She’d got there because she’d once been married to the guy who started the business, and when they divorced he couldn’t get rid of her because he’d made her a director of the company while they were married, (yes, he was REALLY stupid). She was so incompetent at managing the company finances that she failed to pay compulsory taxes and staff superannuation over a number of years, (shoved the tax documents into a filing cabinet draw and thought they’d go away), thus causing the company severe financial problems when the taxman finally arrived to see what was going on. ONLY THEN would she sell her share in their company to her ex-husband, who had been trying to get rid of her for years. ONLY THEN did he realise that she’d made a giant mess of the cashflow, because he hadn’t made her report to him even once during their marriage or since their divorce.
Stupid Roommates
I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, “sure.” The next thing I hear is, “Hey, where do you put the coffee?” I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water.