Joseph F. Kopronica, a Lorain police officer pulled over a driver early Wednesday because the van she was driving appeared to be out of control. According to his police report, Nancy M. Lang, the 42-year-old driver not only seemed to be intoxicated, but said: “Please give me a break. I’m drunk.” The woman failed sobriety tests. She could not stand on one leg or walk heel-to-toe. The officer told her that she was under arrest, but she replied: “Wait, I can do this.” She then did five jumping jacks, one push-up and started to do a cartwheel, the officer’s report said.

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.