A student dropped by the school’s computer lab and asked us if we could make lasers come out of the screen. He was very insistent about this being possible. I asked if he meant supermarket scanning lasers. He said no, the kind that damages your eyes, and also they move around. We were wondering if this was a clever engineering question, but finally he said his sister’s computer could do it. One of us realized he was talking about one of the Windows screen savers.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
I got a call from someone in our office.
Friend: “My computer’s dead.”
Me: “Ok, can you tell me what’s wrong with it?”
Friend: “The screen’s black. I got some coffee, came back, and the screen was black.”
It was a short walk to her desk, so off I go. Looking at the monitor, I saw that it was on with no flashing red lights, so I knew it was connected to the computer. Instinctively, my hand went to the mouse, and snap. The screen came back with all her work.
Friend: “WHAT DID YOU DO!?”
Me: “I moved your mouse. It was your screen saver.”
Friend: “Thanks! You’re a lifesaver!”
Customer: “I just got your software in the mail…when are you sending the computer?”
Tech Support: “You don’t have a computer?”
Customer: “Nope. But I have the software — just send me the computer, and you’ve got a new member.”