Stupid Tech Support

Customer: “Hi, um, my printer smells funny, and it’s smoking.”

Me: “Did you turn it off?”

Customer: “Well, no, I was told never to turn it off without running it through shutdown, and it won’t go through shutdown.”

Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in Mobile Alabama…

Most locales do not have this problem, but Mobile found it necessary to ban bicycles from the interstate highways.

If one wishes to read palms in the city, they must first pay $10 for a permit.

It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.

It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.

Stupid Laws in Montgomery Alabama…

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.

Stupid Tech Support

Tech Support: “Hello, tech support, may I help you?”

Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) “Yes. Monitor is working fine but has sparks and smoke flying out back. Is ok?”

Tech Support: (blink)

Stupid Students

Excerpt from a student essay…

George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, “In onion there is strength.” Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. Fourteenth Amendment gave ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.