Stupid Customers

(The bookstore I work in offers free gift wrapping for customers. It’s a steady night at the bookstore and a woman approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I need to get something gift wrapped.”

Me: “Sure, do you have the receipt for it?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t buy it here. I bought this from another store.”

(She takes out box of perfume.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t wrap something you bought from another store. You’re going to have to buy your own gift wrapping paper and wrap it yourself.”

(Ten minutes later, the woman returns to my register with wrapping paper in hand.)

Customer: “Okay. Now can you TEACH me how to wrap it?”

Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in Wyoming….

It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.

Any person who fails to close a fence is subject to a fine of up to seven hundred and fifty dollars.

You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Stupid Laws in Cheyenne Wyoming….

It is illegal to spit on the steps of a school.

Stupid CoWorkers

CoWorker: Hey, I can’t look at our webpage without the browser crashing.

IT manager: Which browser?

CoWorker: Ff 4.

IT manager: What?

CoWorker: Firefox 4.

IT manager: What’s a Firefox?

CoWorker: Uh, let’s pretend I said IE.

Stupid CoWorkers

Model #1: I want to put babies in you.

Model #2: You want to impregnate me?

Model #1: No, I want to slice you open and shove babies in you.

Model #2: That’s sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.