Stupid Salespeople

Here’s a story where some degree of fault lies on both sides. I was at my local Walmart, walking through the electronics section like I often do. A young couple was looking at a computer, assisted by a salesperson. I overheard the following conversation:

Salesman: “You should really get the full package, with the new monitor and the other accessories.”

Husband: “But we already have a monitor and keyboard from our old computer.”

Salesman: “You should still get the package, because it comes with a faster keyboard.”

The couple conversed for a moment.

Husband: “Can we put it on layaway and make payments on it?”

Stupid Students

Excerpt from a student essay…

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery. King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Joan of Arc was cannonized by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

Stupid Salespeople

I collect old computers as a hobby, mostly 20 year old microcomputers — Apple II, Commodore, etc. Once, in an attempt to find one, I called a computer surplus store.

Me: “Hi. Do you have any old computers, maybe 10-20 years old?”

Salesperson: “Sir, there were no computers 20 years ago.”

Me: “Umm, ok. Bye.”

Then I cracked up.

Stupid Students

Excerpt from a student essay…

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.