Stupid Salespeople

I was repairing a broken PC and had finally narrowed the failure down to a dead COM port. I didn’t have a spare I/O board in stock, so I headed down to the local PC shop, which I had avoided as much as possible up until now — too many horror stories about them were making the rounds.

At the counter of the shop (which, by the way, “specialized” in PC repairs and upgrades) I asked for an I/O card. The person behind the counter just stared at me blankly. I rephrased my request and asked for a serial card. Still the blank look. Just then, someone walked up from the back room, where he had been jabbing at the interior of an open PC with a screwdriver.

“This guy wants a serial card,” said the first one to the second.

“Oh, no problem. We’ve got plenty of those around here somewhere,” the second person said. I was relieved that I would be able to get the system online that day instead of having to wait over the weekend for a replacement part in the mail.

After ten minutes of searching high and low, he brought me the “serial cards” he was proud to have found. It was a 10-pack of the aluminized serial number identification tags that you can stick to your system for inventory control.

I looked at it, turned, and walked away without a word.

Stupid Students

Excerpt from a student essay…

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello’s interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great invention and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in Juneau Alaska….

Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.

Stupid Laws in Nome Alaska….

One may not roam the city with a bow and arrows.

Stupid Laws in Nome Alaska….

Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist.

Stupid Salespeople

In a small computer store…

Me: “Hi. I need a 25 pin RS-232 cable.”

Sales Clerk 1: “What do you need it for?”

Me: “I need to plug a VT100 into a modem. I have both the VT100 and the modem, I just need at 25 pin male/female cable with RS-232 connectors.”

Sales Clerk 1: “Let me get my manager.”

Huh?

Sales Clerk 1: in background: “I have a guy here who wants to plug his VCR into a modem.”

The sales clerk returned with another.

Sales Clerk 2: “Hello, sir. You can’t attach a VCR to a modem.”

Me: “That is not what I am trying to do. I need a 25-pin RS-232 cable — that’s all. Do you have cables for plugging into modems?”

Sales Clerk 2: “What do you want to plug into the modem?”

Me: “A VT100. It is a terminal. You plug it into a computer over a serial line, frequently a modem. I just need a 25-pin cable to go from the unit to the modem.”

Sales Clerk 2: (to Sales Clerk 1) “He doesn’t have a VCR. He wants to plug a VTR into his modem, so it is all right.”

Sales Clerk 1 handed me a cable.

Me: “This is a 9-pin cable. I need a 25 pin cable.”

Sales Clerk 2: “Most PC’s have 9 pins on their serial cards.”

Me: “I am not attaching a PC. I am attaching a VT100. There are 25 pins on it — it needs to plug into a 25 pin connector.”

Sales Clerk 2: “Then use the small end to plug into your modem.”

Me: “There are 25 pins on the modem as well. Do you have any 25 pin cables? All I need is a cable with 25 pins at each end.”

Sales Clerk 2: “This is a 25 pin cable.”