Stupid Laws

Stupid Laws in Wisconsin…

Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.

As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.

Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.

State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.

The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.

It is illegal to kiss on a train.

It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.

Stupid CoWorkers

Me: “Sporting goods, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to check to see if you have this particular scooter in stock.”

Me: “What kind of scooter?”

Customer: “It’s a Razor. I think it’s a blue one. Your website says it’s $197. I want to see if you have it.”

Me: “Let me check. Hold on.

(I place customer on hold and go check our stock.)

Me: “Yeah, we have two. One has a speed of 10 MPH and that one is like an old foot powered scooter with an electric motor. We also have a European styled-scooter with a speed of 15 MPH.”

Customer: “Mmmm, okay, does the 15 MPH scooter go faster than the 10MPH scooter?”

Me: “Um, yeah. That kinda tends to happen.”

Customer: “So that’s faster, right?”

Me: “Yeah, it is faster.”

Customer: “Ok, yeah. Thanks!”

Stupid CoWorkers

Coworker: Happy birthday! I hope you like the cake, we got it from your neighbor, you know, the the one who makes cakes.

Annoying coworker: No way! You got it from her, I can’t believe you did that!

(a few minutes later)

Annoying coworker: Why is my piece so big? Stop cutting the pieces so big! I want to take some home! It’s my cake!

Coworker: What? Are you serious? It’s for the office, and this is how we always cut the fucking cake.

Annoying coworker: Ugh! Whatever! It’s my birthday! Why can’t I get some cake to take home!

Coworker: Fine! I’ll wrap up the left overs. Jesus Christ!

(later that day)

Coworker: Here’s the rest of your cake.

Annoying coworker: I don’t want it anymore, I’m not going straight home after work, and I don’t want to carry that around.

Coworker, while walking away: Fucking bitch…

Stupid Students

Essay question: “How does the work of scientists affect your life today?”

Student’s answer: “For real I would go crazy without my iTouch or my Sidekick. Like I’m really thankful for scientists… Like what if Thomas Edison hadn’t gone outside and got hit by lightning when he was flying his kite with a key on it… We would not have electricity without him testing his invention.”