Stupid Students

December 24, 2006

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays…

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Stupid Students
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Stupid Criminals

December 22, 2006

PARIS – What’s a television without its remote control? Not much, decided a thief in southwestern France who returned to the home from which he had just stolen a TV to pick up the remote control — and was arrested.

The man robbed a retiree’s house in the village of Mussidan, taking the TV set and some hunting rifles, police said. While the owner was reporting the theft at the local police station, the thief returned.

Alert neighbors tipped off the police and they caught the man red-handed.

“He came back to take the remote control,” a local police spokesman said. “I guess there’s daring and there’s stupid.”

Stupid Criminals
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Stupid Criminals

December 20, 2006

SYDNEY – An Australian driver threatened police with a live snake after he was pulled over for a breath test for driving under the influence of alcohol, police said on Monday.

The driver in the outback Northern Territory was stopped on Saturday night by police just outside the city of Darwin after they saw him swerving, police said in a statement.

After registering a blood alcohol level well over the legal limit, the man ran onto the road and picked up a live snake.

“The driver allegedly armed himself with a live snake, pointed the head of the reptile at them and threatened them,” said police.

Police told the man to drop the snake, but he ran into bushland still carrying it. The man has been charged with drunken driving and will appear in the Darwin Magistrates Court.

Stupid Criminals
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Stupid Laws

December 18, 2006

There is a law in Illinois that prohibits a number of things, one of which is a public erection, and another one of which is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.

Stupid Laws