Really Old Coworker #1: What’s that girls first name?
Really Old Coworker #2: Who?
Really Old Coworker #1: Jennifer.
Really Old Coworker #2: It’s “Jennifer.”
Really Old Coworker #1: Thanks!
Stupid Students
Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”
Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check on my student loans request.”
Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”
Student: “I don’t got one.”
Me: “Can I have your first and last name?”
Student: “Yeah.”
(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)
Me: “Sir, may I get your first and last name?”
Student: *gives name*
(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)
Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”
Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”
Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”
Student: *shocked* “Oh, shit, really?”
Stupid Customers
Me: Ma’am, do you have a firewall?
Clueless caller: Yes, the chimney is to my left.
Me: No, no.. On your computer, is there a firewall?
Clueless: The computer is against a wall..
Me: Um. Oh, I know, do you have McAfee?
Clueless caller, excitedly: Yeah, yeah, I have that!
Me: Okay. Well, that’s a firewall.
Stupid CoWorkers
Office guy, returning from lunch: Did someone take a bite out of my chocolate bar while I was gone?
Office girl, sitting behind him: Your suspicions are correct. Yes, I ate your candy bar. Yes, I bought a new one, bit it down with my teeth and put it back in here. Go ahead and eat it though, it’s perfectly safe.