High school girl #1: Yeah, Americans have no moral values. The United States hasn’t had good morals since, like, the 17th century.
High school girl #2: Yeah, I know.
High school girl #1: I mean, you could walk down the street naked and no one would say anything. That would never happen in Europe.
High school girl #2: Yeah, but in France women wear tight, revealing clothing, too.
High school girl #1: But in France it’s fashionable. Here it’s just slutty.
50-something guy #1: That food was so good last night.
50-something guy #2: I think we were just drunk.
50-something guy #1: No, that was a great grilled cheese… Remember the Russian hooker with the whip?
50-something guy #2: Yeah… Here’s 14th Street.
Teen girl: Have you ever wondered why there are no, like, sexy midgets?
Friend: No, but sometimes I wonder if you are slightly retarded.
Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up… but I was still asleep!
Woman #2: Wow.